Guide to Safe Sex (Concise)


This guide focuses on the basics of safer sex, and on how to make whatever precautions you choose feel as pleasurable as possible. Safer sex precautions are obviously not necessary when neither you nor your partner(s) have anything you could transmit to each other (and will be completely safe in your interactions with anyone else during the course of your relationship, and when birth control is not an issue, etc.), but in all other cases your health and peace of mind can be enhanced by playing safely.


The single most effective thing you can do to stay healthy while being sexually active is to use latex condoms for intercourse (whether vaginal or anal). Not all condoms are made alike; men should experiment with different brands until they find the one they like best (many men prefer Kimono Microthins, which also taste fine for fellatio if you get them without Nonoxynol-9). When you put on a condom, pinch its tip as you unroll it (all the way down!) to prevent an air bubble from forming in the reservoir tip. For intercourse, you should then put some water-based lube (such as I-D, ForPlay, Wet, Probe, or Astroglide) on the outside of the condom for comfort, mutual pleasure, and to keep the condom from tearing during sex (some men find that more sensation is transmitted to them if they put a small amount of water-based or silicone-based lube INSIDE the tip of their condom before putting it on). It is very important for men to hold onto the base of their condom as they withdraw (i.e. after becoming soft) so it does not slip off. For a while, health experts were recommending that people choose safer sex products with Nonoxynol-9 to protect against HIV transmission: recent scientific evidence is resulting in this advice being formally retracted, and unless you are using Nonoxynol-9 as a contraceptive rather than for HIV prevention, it may be wise to cease using it entirely. If a condom fails during vaginal or anal intercourse, the receptive partner shouldn't douche; if any Nonoxynol-9 contraceptive foam is handy it MIGHT help for him or her to insert it and leave it in for about 15 minutes, and it would certainly help to immediately remove the condom from inside the vagina or anus if it was left there. Men can give themselves a little extra protection after potentially being exposed to an STD by immediately visiting the restroom, urinating, and then possibly washing their genitals with an anti-bacterial soap. If unwanted pregnancy is a possible outcome of the condom failure, you should call 1-888-NOT-2-LATE to find out about emergency contraception in your area. It should be obvious that a new condom needs to be used for each new partner, and that condoms should not be reused. In addition, if you are going to switch from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse, you should put on a new condom to avoid causing vaginal infections.

Oral Sex

Opinions differ on the use of safer-sex barriers for oral sex. It is clear that herpes can be transmitted from genitals to mouth or mouth to genitals during unprotected oral sex, but some people feel the risk is acceptably low outside of the most infectious period (which starts with the tingling "prodrome" sensations that precedes an outbreak, and continues to two weeks after the herpes sores go away). You can on rare occasion pick up a bacterial infection by going down on someone who currently has a bacterial STD (typically Gonorrhea, more rarely Syphilis or Cancroids), but these can generally be cured with antibiotics once they are identified. It is clear that the risk of transmitting HIV is much, MUCH lower for unprotected oral sex than for unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, and that the risk is MUCH lower for the person being sucked or licked than for the person doing the sucking or licking. For the person doing the sucking or licking, the risk of transmission is lower if your gums (and lips/mouth/throat) are healthy, if you don't let men come in your mouth, and if you don't perform cunnilingus on a woman while she is menstruating. Some sex educators recommend NOT flossing or brushing your teeth for an hour before giving unprotected oral sex (use Cool Mint Listerine or some other anti-bacterial mouthwash if you're concerned about bad breath or just want to freshen up), and others recommend quickly looking over the genitals you're about to go down on for signs of contagious STDs (including genital warts, which can on rare occasion be transmitted from genitals to mouth). If your policy for performing unprotected fellatio is to not let your partner come in your mouth and he does so anyway, it's better to immediately spit than to either wait or swallow, and it may help (especially for bacterial STDs) to then go use an anti-bacterial or peroxide mouthwash. Pre-cum can contain HIV, and although not letting men come in your mouth SIGNIFICANTLY reduces your already low risk to even lower levels, if you are concerned about becoming infected via pre-cum while performing fellatio you have two risk-reduction options: not taking the head of his penis in your mouth or using barriers for oral sex. If you decide that your personal safety standards include barriers for oral sex, then you'll need to use latex condoms (without Nonoxynol-9) for fellatio, and either saran wrap or one of those "Glyde" dams for cunnilingus (for cunnilingus, put a little water-based lube on your partner's side of the barrier to increase the sensation transmitted to her). The same barrier techniques used for cunnilingus can also be used for analingus (rimming), where they should be considered essential if the person doing the licking is not immunized against hepatitis A, or if the person being licked may have a bacterial infection.

Your Hands

If you've had your fingers in someone's vagina, or had someone come on your hands, then it is a good idea to wash your hands with hot water and anti-bacterial soap before touching your eyes or anyone else's genitals. If your skin is compromised in any way, if you want to avoid needing to leave the scene to wash your hands, if you're going to be engaging in anal fisting or exposing yourself to any blood, or if you just want to be extra-safe, then try using latex "examination" gloves - they are available at most drug stores. If you have just had your ungloved fingers in somebody's ass, then you will want to be sure to clean your hands particularly thoroughly (especially under your fingernails!) before putting your them in or near your mouth.

Safer Sex Kits

It is helpful to get a little hip pack for your safer-sex supplies, your smaller bottle of water-based lube, and anything else you commonly use. You might also want to pack a portable toothbrush and a travel-sized toothpaste tube in case you end up staying overnight somewhere.


There are two STDs for which permanent vaccines are available: hepatitis B and hepatitis A. Hepatitis B can be spread easily through intercourse and (less easily) through oral sex or rimming, and hepatitis A is easily spread through rimming. Getting these two vaccinations (which you can do at the same time) would be an excellent idea if you do not always use barriers for these activities.

Birth Control

If you are going to be engaging in intercourse with someone of the opposite sex, birth control may be an issue. If the birth control that latex condoms offer is good enough for you, then you are set. If you want more protection than this, call Planned Parenthood (1-800-230-PLAN) and discuss the options. Special doses of particular birth control pills can reduce the chance of pregnancy by 75% if taken within 72 hours of contraceptive failure; the Emergency Contraception Hotline at 1-888-NOT-2-LATE can tell you where to go to get them.

Treatment, Testing, Supplies, and Additional Information

If you have additional questions about STDs or HIV, call the National STD Hotline at 1-800-227-8922 or visit Information about STD clinics in your area can be found by calling this National STD Hotline or by visiting As the bacterial STDs are usually curable with antibiotics and the incurable viral STDs (such as HIV, herpes, hepatitis, and HPV) are now more easily managed than ever, it is in your best interest to be tested if you think you might have been exposed to anything. If you require more detailed information on STD/HIV treatments, the best online document is the CDC's Guidelines for Treatment of Sexually Transmitted Disease at The only element lacking in this document is good pictures of herpes sores (and symptoms caused by other STDs) for those who want to be able to identify them by sight; for pictures, visit Latex allergies are an increasing area of concern, particularly for health care workers. Fortunately, if you or your partner have any sort of latex sensitivity, non-latex alternatives for safer sex are available: Avanti condoms, Saran Wrap for cunnilingus and analingus, and Nit rile gloves.

Interesting dialog found online

-----Original Message-----
From: Edwin Greentree 
Sent: Tuesday, December 14, 2004 4:44 PM
Subject: Re: [RED BARN ACTION] blow jobs

FROM THE GOOD OLD DAYS....... All the people that use 
to swallow or take it up the ass with no protection are 
in the twilight zone. They either moved away, gave up 
the scene or, are no longer living in this life. I've 
been going to the theaters for a long time. I remember 
their faces and they are just not around anymore. BE 

> -----Original Message-----
>From: George & Anne 
>Subject: Re: [RED BARN ACTION] blow jobs
>Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2004 03:54:15
> As a couple we enjoy anonymous sex; therefore we use 
> condoms. You can buy both mint flavored and Trojan 
> makes non lubricated, they even have them without 
> the reservoir tip so you don't gag on it. It's also 
> very convenient if Anne is blowing someone you can 
> go right to fucking without fumbling for a condom. 
> Also no cum on the face (eyes, mouth, nose) ass and 
> pussy; these are mucous membranes. It is also 
> recommended if you are going to suck someone off 
> don't swallow. If all this annoys you then blow all 
> you want but don't brush your teeth a few hours prior 
> to doing the act. Brushing makes your gums bleed and 
> make you more susceptible to the virus, use mouthwash 
> instead. When you finish clean up with an antibacterial 
> soap, we always have a small bottle of Purell in our 
> goody bag when we swing.
> > -----Original Message-----
> >chewie261  wrote:
> >
> > Maybe its just me, i love to jerk off other guys but 
> > some seem like they want more and i would like to 
> > give them more nothing better than seeing a nice 
> > cock hanging in front you and the taste of a good 
> > cock.....but somehow i can't get my mind off the 
> > aids thing. i hear of guys taking load after load 
> > of cum. Aren't some of you guys worried, or maybe 
> > i worry to much. What am i missing here, please 
> > tell me so i can start takeing load after load.
>                   Chewie

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Last updated December 14, 2004

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